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Jessica Garrison, in Abigail Adams attire |
This is not a joke, folks; it's in the Birmingham Business Journal (BBJ), where Garrison was named one of the paper's "Top 40 Under 40" for 2013.
We can't decide which is more bizarre . . . that Garrison believes Luther Strange will become president of the United States--or that she seems to think the way to Melissa Strange's heart is by having an affair with her husband.
We've already established that Garrison has engaged in a long-running affair with Luther Strange, for whom she served as campaign manager in 2010. We've also established that Luther Strange has directed a steady flow of cash to a holding company owned by Garrison. And she has wound up living in a Mountain Brook home appraised at more than $400,000, in a transaction that includes all sorts of peculiarities.
Now, the BBJ article provides some of the darnedest reading we've seen in a while. First, we learn that Garrison's historical hero is Abigail Adams, and Garrison is dressed for her photograph in what appears to be period clothing.
When asked for her real-life hero, Garrison provides this answer:
U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Bill Pryor. He has given me invaluable opportunities and advice since I was in college. We remain good friends today and I continue to enjoy the often-colorful counsel from my mentor.
We learn about Garrison's views on key policy issues:
What’s a hot topic in your industry? Federalism and federal overreach which includes issues such as the Dodd-Frank Act and the appropriate level of regulation of financial markets, the state versus federal role in consumer protection and unconstitutional mandates.
Does Garrison keep up with the news? In an era of historic financial corruption, she apparently thinks the answer is less federal oversight, not more. Well, now we know she's a true Federalist Society believer, which isn't surprising since she is buds with Bill Pryor.
The "money" question and reply come here:
Your ultimate career goal? Chief of staff to First Lady Melissa Strange when Attorney General Luther Strange is president.
We go on to learn that Garrison's guilty pleasures are "wine, dark chocolate, and sheep's milk cheeses." Her favorite spot on the planet is "Katama Airfield in Edgartown on Martha's Vineyard." (A Republican likes Martha's Vineyard? I didn't think that was allowed.)
My main question is this: How did the interviewer keep a straight face after receiving that answer about Luther Strange in the White House?